Carter’s Eulogy

Carter's Eulogy

Carter Matthew Hodges was born at 39+4, right on time! He so badly wanted to be punctual that despite Haley being told at her 39 week appointment that the baby wasn’t coming anytime soon, Carter broke Haley’s water in her sleep! So with less than a few hours of sleep under their belt Haley and Jason rushed to the hospital at midnight on November 21st and after 18 long hours, Carter made his grand appearance into the world on November 22nd, 2021 at 5:31pm. He was almost exactly 6 pounds, 5.999 pounds to be exact, and 19 & 1/2 inches long. Mommy and daddy were in love when they saw him and he was and always will be perfect to them.

He had the thickest head of dark hair to which everyone questioned, where did that come from?! Carter was Jason’s mini-me. And upon sharing pictures of Jason’s baby photos with nurses and doctors, they would gasp and say how uncanny the resemblance was! Carter spent a few days in the postpartum room with a very tired Haley and Jason as they tried to adjust to life as new parents. All the nurses thought he was so cute! He was having some trouble feeding, he was trying to tell everyone, “I miss the placenta! I was so cozy in mommy’s tummy and here I have to work so hard to eat. What’s up with that?”

Everyone cared about Carter so much, they made him a bed in the Meridian NICU to give him the best care he could get…and help him adjust to the cruel and unforgiving world outside the womb. Mommy and Daddy spent as much time as humanly possible by his bedside. They would read to Carter, sing to Carter, hold Carter, and pray for Carter. Carter’s favorite book his Mommy Read to him was “Baby’s First Bible Stories”. One of those stories was particularly important to Carter in the first week of his life and that was The Story of David and Goliath. The end of the story always made mommy cry, it said “God helps us even though we are small.” 

And God did help Carter every step of his life.

When Carter was a week old he said, “My tummy doesn’t feel good!” so to help Carter’s tummy, he was transferred to the Boise NICU to get the best care he could get. Everyone there cared so much about Carter too. They worked very hard to help figure out what was so upsetting to Carter’s tummy. Carter was so brave he went to the OR for exploratory surgery. Haley said, “Please get better for mommy.” To which Carter said, “Okay no problem!” 

Carter came out of his surgery and stole the heart of one of his primary nurses, Beth, and even tried to pull out his own intubation tube. Carter was very confused the next couple of days as to why no would feed him!! Haley tried to tell Carter, “I know you don’t understand now but it’s for your own good. Your tummy needs to heal before you can have more milk.” Carter was very loud and would often demand milk. His loud cry won him the nickname “Lord Carter” from one of his other beloved primary nurses, Toni. Everyone beckoned to Lord Carter’s every need. 

He loved to be held and cuddled by mommy and daddy. He even loved cuddles with his nurses. Everyone thought he was the cutest little boy and that he was so handsome. He was very expressive when he slept and would often give mommy the cutest little smile. He loved his paci, he loved his swing, and would love to be rocked to sleep. 

When he was awake he would look around with his big blue eyes and just try to figure his little world out. Carter started to feel better from surgery. He did so  well, all the doctors were impressed by how well he was doing. It was then that he discovered his love for milk and he just drank and drank from his bottle. He drank so much, he got bigger and weighed over 7 pounds! Some of his dark hair started to recede, he was mommy and daddy’s big boy now.

As much as he loved them though, he didn’t know how to tell his loving parents that his tummy still hurt. The doctors gave Haley and Jason the wonderful news, that they could take Carter home. They enjoyed every second, and Carter did too! He got lots of cuddles, lots of swing time, lots of love from not just mommy and daddy, but Grandma Dottie too! He even got to meet Grandpa Ed. He loved his kitties, who were so curious about him. One Kittie, Kiki, was scared of him though and would run away when he cried. 

Carter was now fondly referred to as mommy’s “wireless baby”. It was so freeing to walk around without any leads or IVs. It was a glimpse of heaven for Carter. And a glimpse of an angel for mommy and daddy. Carter had a baby’s first Christmas, there were many cute onesies and pictures involved, as to be expected. But Carter didn’t know how to tell them that his tummy still hurt and that he needed help. He finally got the courage to tell mommy and daddy, so they rushed him back to the Children’s Hospital, where everyone set him up with the best care he could get, because they all cared about him so much, even still.

Carter was very tired though, he told mommy, “This world was not what it was meant to be. There is a better place waiting for me, in heaven.” And mommy said, “It’s okay if you need to go to Jesus honey, mommy understands,” So he flew away, to the place where there is no more poking, no more crying, no more IV’s, no more leads, and no more hyperbilirubinemia or neonatal cholestasis….a place where there is no more disease or suffering. He has a new body and he is finally free from the bondage of this world. He is at peace. Though his life was shorter than most, Carter endured more medical challenges than some of us in our adult lives ever will. He was stronger and braver than some of us will ever have to be. Though his life was short, Carter touched more people than some of us ever will. Because he was a special boy. We will always love him, and until we see him again someday, we will always remember his love that shone like a bright light in the darkness.


Haley

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