Your nursery is empty 
As is my heart 
Time stands still
when we’re apart 

My cries are silent 
My will, so meek
I keep writing for you
though I am weak 

If you could talk
What would you say?
Would you will me to laugh?
or would you have me pray?

all I wanted
was for you to stay 
but you couldn’t
baby, why did you fly away?

-------------------

I wish it was me
lying lifeless 
in a cold hospital bed
going to God 
“take me instead”

pain no greater
than to outlive your own
most unnatural
happiness unknown

why should I survive?
and you did not?
would if I could
give up
my whole body
to make your heart 
beat again
still 
I cannot pretend

I didn’t lose you once
or lose you twice
I lose you every day--
I wake up
to the empty cradle

I wake up 
not to your sweet eyes --
to the sound of my own cries
what I wouldn’t give
for one more sleepless night!

to have and to hold
to kiss and to nurture
to soothe and to protect 
to love
you were the very thing
it took
to set me free from myself

you gave my life meaning
purpose 
drive 
to love you was to lose myself
with you, we were alive

I would do it all over again
to know you 
and to know you more

such a picture 
of beauty 
and divine grace,
You in my embrace

Yes, and I would give up 
My very life
To know the Lord 
And to know Him more
I have lost my life
To find it 
So I await 
For the coming 
Of the Lord
My hope, your hope
And our reward 

---